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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25811707">Could you be another me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatgirlyeojoo/pseuds/thatgirlyeojoo'>thatgirlyeojoo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dissociative Identity Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, mentions of mental disorders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:47:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25811707</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatgirlyeojoo/pseuds/thatgirlyeojoo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm never good at anything, not even as an assistant. It's like pulling on oversized adult shoes when I'm just a kid lost in this big world. I feel like I'm wearing a mask every day, pretending to know things when I really don't. I can't do it."</p><p>"Who says you can't? Give me names," Minghao says sharply. "I'm serious, Jun. I'll strangle anyone who tells you stupid things like that."</p><p>(Or, Minghao always comes to Junhui's rescue.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wen Jun Hui | Jun &amp; Xu Ming Hao | The8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Challenge 1: Kidult</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Could you be another me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title from <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6HEUZW6HTc">My I by Jun &amp; The8</a>. Trigger warning for allusions to suicide, depression, anxiety, and past bullying.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Junhui, please."</p><p> </p><p>"What?"</p><p> </p><p>Minghao shifts uncomfortably on the bed, groaning. "Stop thinking out loud already; I want to sleep."</p><p> </p><p>Junhui lets out a deep sigh. "Sorry, I just can't."</p><p> </p><p>"What's bothering you?"</p><p> </p><p>"Don't worry about it. Go to sleep," Junhui says, turning away.</p><p> </p><p>Minghao stops him with a firm grip on his bicep. "I couldn't sleep now anyway. Let's talk about it."</p><p> </p><p>Junhui releases another sigh. "It's the audition tomorrow."</p><p> </p><p>"I knew it. You've got your script and choreography ready?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah."</p><p> </p><p>"It's already 2 AM, Junhui. At this rate, you won't be able to wake up in time for that. What time is it again?"</p><p> </p><p>"Eight."</p><p> </p><p>"Yikes. Too early. And it's a Monday; the traffic's going to be horrendous for sure." </p><p> </p><p>"I'd rather not wake up for anything."</p><p> </p><p>"Junhui!" Minghao yelps, alarmed. It's his turn to sigh. "Come here," he says, opening his arms to urge Junhui in. Junhui scoots closer and accepts the hug. "Never say that again. I'm here, okay?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah," Junhui replies, voice tight. "I'm sorry."</p><p> </p><p>A patch of Minghao's nightshirt gets wet with Junhui's tears. It spreads wider, and Minghao tightens his hold on Junhui. "Shh. There, there. You're okay. I believe in you."</p><p> </p><p>"I don't even want to do it in the first place," Junhui sniffs. "I only got that audition spot because you applied in my name. You shouldn't have."</p><p> </p><p>Minghao winces. It's true that he did that without Junhui's knowledge, but it's something he must do to get Junhui moving again. Junhui has been cooped up in his apartment for a month since he got the sack from his previous job. He got implicated into a messy misconduct instigated by a colleague who manipulated him. A month is already too long; there are bills to pay, mouths to feed, wants to satisfy, and most especially, dreams to reach. He can't let Junhui waste his life away because of someone else's wrongdoing. </p><p> </p><p>"Junhui, I know you've always wanted to perform on stage. You've been delaying this for too long, working in that shitty office as assistant when it's not something you want to do with your life."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm never good at anything, not even as an assistant. It's like pulling on oversized adult shoes when I'm just a kid lost in this big world. I feel like I'm wearing a mask every day, pretending to know things when I really don't. I can't do it."</p><p> </p><p>"Who says you can't? Give me names," Minghao says sharply. "I'm serious, Jun. I'll strangle anyone who tells you stupid things like that."</p><p> </p><p>"You're going to have to strangle me then."</p><p> </p><p>Minghao rolls his eyes in desperation over Junhui's head. "Maybe. If that's what it will take for you to wake up from the delusion that you're not good enough. Because you are a great person, Junhui."</p><p> </p><p>Junhui presses his head closer against Minghao's chest. "You're the only one who gives me confidence," he whispers.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey. You and I are one. Did you forget? So if I am confident, you can be confident too."</p><p> </p><p>"I am you, and you are me, but I don't have what you have."</p><p> </p><p>"None of those words made sense," Minghao chuckles. "Look: there's strength and greatness in you. The mere fact that I am here means you have already unleashed the confidence you thought you don't have," he says seriously. "You're so much more than you think you are, Junhui."</p><p> </p><p>Junhui leans away to look Minghao in the eyes. Despite the dark room, his vision has already adjusted to let him see Minghao clearly. "What happens if you leave me then?"</p><p> </p><p>Minghao blinks at him incredulously. "Never!" he says. When Junhui looks like he still doesn't believe that, he adds: "Really! We've been together since you were at that scary orphanage, right? We grew up together. We've held each other's hand through thick and thin. What makes you think I can leave you just like that?"</p><p> </p><p>This is also true. Minghao appeared in Junhui's life when they were thirteen. The other kids in the orphanage bullied Junhui incessantly and almost got him killed. That's when Minghao appeared to fight off the evil kids for Junhui. By age seventeen, they both left the orphanage and set out to the world, hand in hand. They never separated since. </p><p> </p><p>More tears escape Junhui's eyes. Minghao catches some of it with his fingers before Junhui dives into Minghao's chest again. "Don't ever leave me."</p><p> </p><p>"When have I ever? I'll always be here for you, Junhui."</p><p> </p><p>"But tomorrow…"</p><p> </p><p>"I'll go with you," Minghao assures him. "I'll be you."</p><p> </p><p>That seems to calm Junhui down. His breath evens out after a whispered thanks, and he finally falls asleep.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"You're freaking out. Relax, Junhui. You're scaring me and everyone else here," Minghao laughs.</p><p> </p><p>The other people lining up for the audition are equally nervous, but they look warily at Junhui as he paces the hallway agitatedly. Junhui ignores them all.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't worry, okay? I'll dance for you," Minghao says.</p><p> </p><p>Junhui is still tense, eyes unfocused. </p><p> </p><p>Minghao lays a hand on Junhui's chest, over his heart. "<em> You are strong. You are amazing. </em> You crash-landed on that previous job you had, sure, so now you're here to spread your wings and fly again. If you don't make it here, we'll try for another theatre company until you pass─get that? And I'll help you. I'm here with you."</p><p> </p><p>"Okay."</p><p> </p><p>"Mr Wen Junhui? Please follow me."</p><p> </p><p>Junhui stands up and tails the staff who called him in. The staff gestures for him to go up the stage, in front of three judges sitting expectantly behind a long desk.</p><p> </p><p>Junhui takes a deep breath and closes his eyes briefly. When he opens them again, he's calmer, more collected. Now, he's Xu Minghao─the alternate persona who is more level-headed, more confident, and more 'adult' than the real Junhui could ever hope to be. When he is afraid to face this challenging world, Xu Minghao takes over to save him. Always. </p><p> </p><p>"Hi everyone, I'm Wen Junhui."</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope I didn't get ahead of future challenges by taking some lines from My I as the title. Anyways, Jun and Hao are amazing and deserve overflowing love. Comments highly appreciated~ thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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